The article in the Surrey Coment is quite entertaining, but the comments are where it’s really at.
I was once saved from certain death when a pair of woods grasped me by the shoulders and flew me from the path of an oncoming car. Now these feathered heroes follow me everywhere and they often speak to me too.
Let’s just relax here – they’re just PIGEONS, bear that in mind. They’re just fluffy little critters who are cute and tickle you with their whiskers … ah no, that’s kittens. Sorry.
Gas them like badgers!
Why not give them bicarbonate of soda in a sausage so they explode in mid air?
I hate them. Especially their toes!